Who doesn’t adore the name of Posh and Becks’ newest arrival? For such a glam couple who has shown questionable baby name judgment in the past (Brooklyn, Romeo, Cruz, hmmm), this seems perfectly adorable and somewhat normal. On top of that, I know actual people in real life with this name. As in, those not on the Royal Wedding invite list.

However, not all celebrity tykes got as lucky with their moniker. Hollywood’s recent baby boom has brought a new onslaught of odd offspring names.

7. Rachel Zoe & Rodger Berman: Skylar Morrison Berman

The always -fabulous stylist-slash fashion-empress and her business partner husband welcomed their first child in March of this year. While I’m not a huge Rodger fan (what’s up with all the rope jewelry and dark eyeliner?), I have to admit, the 10-carat “push present” now gracing Mama Zoe’s finger was a pretty generous touch. Rodger chose a slightly off-beat name for his surely stylish son, since all the Skylar’s I know are female and spell it with an “e”. With parents as bohemian chic as these two, something tells me little Skylar won’t do too badly in life.

6. Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale: Zuma Nesta Rock Rossdale

No doubt this little tyke has a mouthful to say at kindergarten! Back in 2008, rock star Gwen and hubby welcomed a little playmate for big bro Kingston. They raised some eyebrows for the name, and issued a statement explaining they named their second born son for Zumba Beach in Malibu, a sacred career starter spot for dad Gavin. Gwen’s a cool and tough enough mom to intimidate anyone who would mess with this little guy on the playground!

5. Nicole Richie and Joel Madden: Sparrow James Midnight Madden

September 2009 brought the arrival of Nicole Richie’s firstborn son, a culmination of a pregnancy that not only quieted her wild child ways, but defined her laid back, California beach fashion style. Too bad the baby name announcement came hot in the middle of the Pirates of the Caribbean buzz years, more specifically, the worst pirate anyone’s ever heard of: Captain Jack Sparrow. Not a bad figure to emulate, coolness-wise, and it seems like neither Mom or Dad would have a problem with any tattoos in the future. Maybe it’ll be a pirate’s life for the little bird?

4. Natalie Portman and Benjamin Millepied: Alef

Reports aren’t even certain about the spelling of this little guy’s name (Aleph? Alef?), let alone which talented last name he’ll be sporting. One thing is certain: his first name is unique enough to carry him into celebrity baby stardom. Born just months after his mom snagged her Best Actress Oscar, he has lots to live up to. Representing the first letter of the Hebrew alphabet, his name also means “oneness of God”. All of Hollywood is getting antsy for pictures of this blessed one-month old!

3. Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin: Moses Martin

The Oscar-winner and GOOP goddess can do no wrong, but it’s not every day you hear a baby named after such a heroic Biblical figure. Granted, he does have two of the most talented people in the world as parents, but when Gwen and hubby bestowed such a name on such a little baby, were they thinking he would grow up to bring God’s law to humanity? Maybe they’ll settle for a super-attractive, British-accented, instrument-playing angel who sings like an angel.

2. Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin: Apple Blythe Alison Martin

America’s sweetheart and the Coldplay frontman make the list again: in 2004, their firstborn child made headlines with her unusual fruity title. This “golden delicious” golden child has certainly grown up into quite the little character, as the world watches with a healthy appetite for all that is sure to come of the talented, albeit absurdly named, Paltrow-Martin progeny.

And the winner is…

 

Ashlee Simpson-Wentz and Pete Wentz: Bronx Mowgli Wentz

It’s hard to make the last name “Wentz” sound even clunkier, but Jess’s little sis and her Fall Out Boy succeeded in this feat when they named their son, born in 2008, the weirdest baby name ever! Apparently the New York borough was just not popular enough, and they had to pick the downright ugliest of Kipling’s words to emulate. Here’s hoping little Bronx will be okay with his hefty signature one day!

So there they are, the weirdest celebrity baby names! (So far)

This just in: Kate Hudson felt left out, and wanted to winggle her way onto the list. Here’s a hint: She doesn’t agree when Monica says on Friends, “Nothing goes with “Bing”, so I’m screwed.”

Media Credits:

Skylar Berman: zap2it.blogspot.com

Zuma Rossdale: superficial.com

Sparrow Madden: gobuzzyourself.com

Natalie Portman: popcrunch.com

Moses Martin: popsugar.com

Apple Martin: people.com

Bronx Wentz: people.com

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