Another installment of wedding talk! Here we go.

Tip 1: Keep it Clean

We’ve all seen photos and video and sat hostage as some couples indulge in a slobbery, full-on make-out session at the altar. With parents, grandparents and friends of all ages looking on. Don’t be one of those couples. A dramatic dip is tasteful. Gently caressing your new spouse’s face is sweet. Anything more than that? Tacky. The same rule goes for the first bites of cake. I can’t stand when people smash the cake all over each other’s faces and then lick it off. So gross on such an elegant, classy day. Anything with too much tongue or too much passion should be reserved for just a few hours later, until the honeymoon really begins!




Tip 2: Kids or no Kids?

This is a hugely controversial issue about the guest list. I’ve heard of some brides stating that some guests will adamantly refuse to come to a wedding that their rugrats are left out of. Other brides go so far to include “Adult Reception to Follow” on the invitation. I am of the opinion that weddings are an adult affair, for adults only, and that should be understood by the guests. The envelope clearly indicates who is invited to the festivities. If you receive an invitation to “Mr. and Mrs. Parent”, does that include your children? Nope. Just the Mr. and Mrs. You would think that most parents would want a night out away from their kids- a date night? Some people will complain about getting a babysitter or traveling without their children, but that is their choice, not yours. You, as the bride, are arranging a beautiful day all about you and your love, and we know that can get pricey. There are also the logistical safety concerns. If your wedding is at a venue like a ballroom or restaurant, what is to prevent the pitter-patter of little feet from crashing into a glass window or even the cake display table? In my own case, since very few of our friends and relatives have small children, we didn’t have to face too much of this issue. One exception from the no-children rule? Newborns. One of my older cousins was still breast-feeding her two-month old baby girl, so obviously she was included on the list. I think most parents would appreciate a kids-free zone, so they can drink and relax and socialize without having to keep an eye on them. Maybe it’s just me, but an event where adults are drinking and focusing on dancing and enjoying themselves is not the place for young children.

Ultimately, the decision is up to you- if you have children of your own or are close to the children of your friends and you want them there, go for it! My suggestion? Be consistent across the board- if the age cut-off is 5, then everyone over 5 is invited and no one under 5 is allowed. All of your guests-friends, family, female, male-should follow the same guidelines. What do you think of children at weddings?


Tip 3: Keep an Element to Yourself

At a time when you’re sharing very intimate, personal details with your entire guest list, it can seem that you’re performing at a spectacle for everyone else to judge and comment on. Everyone is suddenly privy to how you met your fiancé, how he proposed, what you love about each other, and your plans for the future. This can seem overwhelming when you think about it. But the truth is, you are inviting your nearest and dearest friends and family to join in your happiness and celebrate with you. That means no one gets to dictate where you’re married, what time, who else is invited, what anyone else wears, or any other little details that can snag up your excitement. My suggestion to stay sane during the people-pleasing moments is to keep some secrets from the masses.  Don’t tell everyone and their guest what you plan on saying in your vows or who they’re sitting next to at dinner. People will have their opinions, and some may be more vocal about it than others. You’ll never be able to please everyone. Just accept that fact and move on. Focus on making yourself and your fiancé happy. Hopefully, your guests will just be happy to be there with you and keep any negative thoughts to themselves.

Tip 4: Don’t lose sight of the big picture.

When you’re meeting with vendors every day and making decisions at every turn, it’s easy to get caught up in the madness of the event. But it’s important to remember that you are celebrating something. Your love and commitment to each other. Sure, you can get weary with addressing envelopes, arranging seating charts and making everyone else happy. But when you have to decide whether or not to have chair covers, or how many appetizers-per-person for the cocktail hour, or who sits at what table, just remember: you will be married by the time any of this matters. When you’re munching on that delicious menu you’ve been angst-ing about for months or listening to your 8-piece orchestra strum away your favorite classical tunes, you will have a wedding ring and a husband by your side who has just promised to love and honor your forever. When you look into each other’s eyes, do you really care if all of the bridesmaids’ dresses match or how many tiers of cake you have? I didn’t think so.


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